Searching for Rosie
by Sleather Chonkers
Summary: Thrill to a satire of epic proportions as Draco goes searching for the lost teddy bear Rosie
1. Default Chapter

Chapter One : Insert random mysterious sounding chapter heading here.....Title: Searching for Rosie   
  
Author name : Sleather Chonkers  
  
Author email: tiffanyofbuffy@hotmail.com  
  
Category: Humor/Mystery/Romance  
  
Keywords: Teddy bear , elfs , Draco , Hermione  
  
Rating : Pg-13  
  
Spoilers: All books  
  
Summary:Nothing in this fan fic is sacred. A satire of epic proportions , as the gorgeous Draco Malfoy goes on a dangerous quest to find the teddy bear Rosie!  
  
GASP AT! Draco wearing a hair net!  
  
WATCH! As Crabbe goes under some serious character development!  
  
SEE! Castles covered with vines , damsels in distress and attractive young men in bath robes!   
  
SHOCK HORROR! Ron Weasley actually gets a starring part!  
  
HEAR! Draco Malfoy singing songs from the blues brothers!  
  
and most of all  
  
THRILL TO! A completely different off the wall tongue in cheek fan fic!.  
  
Disclaimer : This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.  
  
Author notes : Searching for Rosie has gone through a major overhaul I loved the first part but hated the rest which is why dear children you should never try to write the classic angst filled plot.. hopefully things will go allot more smoother now.  
  
Chapter one : Insert random mysterious sounding chapter heading here....(1/?)  
  
It was a quarter past midnight, not actually midnight . Draco assumed that he was already dark and dramatic enough without having to bother with waking up at a certain hour. But, where was Draco at this seemingly ordinary midnight hour? Well he was doing his hair of course... in front of the sparkly mirror, which was propped up on his dressing table. Not many people knew this, but Draco's infamous gorgeous long silvery locks... were actually rather curly. Frowning slightly, his eyes screwed up with concentration he held his ebony comb in one hand and a bottle of Sleek Easy potion in the other. He then squirted a liberal amount into his hand, and smoothed it through his untamed locks before combing them through carefully in a zigzag pattern.  
  
  
"Everybody needs somebody to love" He sang under his breath searching around in his drawers for his hair net. Eventually he found it nestled amongst his satin boxers and his woolly green socks. He then withdrew it and in a swift proud movement placed it on his head tucking in the stray wisps of silvery blond hair.  
  
"Draco my boy... you are absolutely drop dead gorgeous" he said, after all Draco was anything but vain. He then turned to go back to his green velvet bed and nearly walked into a wall. Actually, no it wasn't a wall walls weren't dressed in ill-fitting duck printed pyjamas. They didn't make a rumbling noise either.  
"Crabbe... what are you doing up?" Draco demanded, staring upwards. He was met by a rather round, putty-like face with thick curly black hair around it's ears .  
Crabbe had given up the pudding base hair cut two years previously ...he was far too terrified of the scissors.  
  
"I ... I lost Rosie!" Crabbe cried, choking on his words. As he spoke, a button popped off his pyjamas from the strain and hit Goyle's lamp with a high-pitched 'ping' noise.  
"Rosie ...oh bloody mudblood, you don't mean that stupid pink teddy bear of yours?" Draco asked and Crabbe sniffed pathetically, his eyes bloodshot and red-rimmed.  
"Crabbe you're seventeen years old, you don't need a damp piece of cotton to help you sleep at night you great oaf !" Draco snapped irritably.  
"But it's Rosie.. She'll be scared if she's all alone, she won't be able to sleep" Crabbe cried pathetically and Draco rolled his eyes.  
  
"Are you sure you didn't leave her in here somewhere?" Draco asked, gesturing to the general chaos that was the Slytherins dormitory. The dormitory, unlike that of the Gryffindors, had three very distinctive styles. But as Draco often said, that was because the Gryffindors all had enough personality put together to fill a teaspoon ... and they didn't have the brains or imagination for proper interior decorating. Draco looked around Crabbe's section first; the green hangings on the bed were covered with glow in the dark stars and fairy lights. The bedspread was bright blue with ducks on them, as Crabbe quite liked ducks. The bedside table was the only one with a duck-shaped night light and a few toy trucks. There was also a book ...an incredibly thin picture book with only three words on each page and only ten pages altogether. It had a cover with a rather cheerful looking hippogriff on it, however, despite the fact it would have taken normally only five seconds to read, someone had carefully placed a bookmark between pages two and three.   
  
Draco pointed his wand at the general area and cried out (as quietly as possible) "Accio Rosie".... nothing happened. Grumbling homicidal thoughts about teddy bears under his breath, Draco continued to search the rest of the dormitory. Goyle's was next, and Draco felt his stomach clench, he had been friends with Crabbe and Goyle all his life, if you could call them friends. But now he wasn't quite sure whether Goyle wasn't going towards ...the bad. Not that he wasn't bad already; it was standard practice for all Slytherins to have a foot in the shadow . No, this was different. Over the past few years Goyle had become obsessed with muggle warfare. He had large piles of books and magazines on his bedside table and his hangings were covered with netting.   
  
It had of course improved his vocabulary, he was now able to use disembodiment in everyday sentences, but his obsession was still disturbing. Draco had casually peered at some of the books awhile back and it almost made him sick, muggles had ways of killing hundreds of people in one go. They could release bombs that destroyed the whole planet; they had liquid that could burn a person's skin at 800 degrees..They had ways of keeping a human alive but in extreme pain. Wizards killed each other instantly, no pain and a wizard's curse could sometimes be reversed...But muggles, Draco was beginning to realize that not only were they stupid they were dangerous. Draco crept around Goyle's bed uneasily. Goyle just muttered in his sleep and rolled over farting, he was dressed in his usual singlet and army fatigues with a thick woollen cap hiding all his hair. Come to think of it, Draco hadn't seen Goyle's hair for nearly two years.  
  
  
"Accio Rosie" he muttered uneasily, but no pink teddy bear popped out its tiny head. Draco sighed with relief and moved onto his section.  
His section was green. A vibrant, cool and damned sexy green ...Draco's favourite colour of course. The furniture was made of solid and well polished oak and there was a sea trunk at the end of his bed that his great, great grandfather had stolen out of a mermaid's treasure trove over a hundred years ago. Draco fiddled with the catch and the lid sprang open. After sorting through several parchment notebooks, the dozen or so pairs of leather pants he never actually wore, and a photograph of a certain brown-haired girl, which had been carefully clipped out of the Daily Prophet. Draco sighed defeated.  
"Rosie is not in here, Crabbe. Are you sure you didn't leave her anywhere else?" Draco asked and Crabbe rumbled in the way he did whenever he tried to think.  
  
  
"I took her to breakfast this morning." He finally said.  
"You took her to breakfast?" Draco asked slowly and deliberately.  
"Well... we were having the pancakes and you know how much Rosie loves pancakes" Crabbe finally said and a metal gearshift twisted in Draco's brain.  
"Of course, she is a bear after all.. and the pancakes did come with honey" Draco said patronising Crabbe.  
"Well Crabbe, you have ruined my nights sleep , so we may as well go look for her. But if we don't find her we are going back to the dormitory" he said firmly and Crabbe briskly shook his head as he tried to put on his own thick woolly dressing gown.  
  
Unlike those hooligan Gryffindors, Draco very rarely left his dormitory at nighttime. He didn't see the point really, the heating charms had usually been turned off and it was a terrible feeling walking across freezing cold flagstones at night. Both Crabbe and Draco crept along the corridors as quietly as possible, well Crabbe thundered along smashing into any thing, including the walls. While Draco crept along keeping his body flattened against the wall.  
  
"Shh" Draco whispered and whisked his compact mirror out of his dressing gown, he whisked it open and a thousand grains of pale luminous powder (used to give his skin that wonderful white pallor) floated onto the stone floor. Draco held the mirror up irritably and put it around the corner.  
"What are you doing?" Crabbe asked sleepily and Draco rolled his eyes.  
"I'm checking for Basilisks you brain dead moron." he snapped.  
"But.. .I thought ...Harry killed the big snake years ago" Crabbe said slowly trying not to anger Draco further.  
  
"Do not mention that name in my presence" Draco hissed slowly and deliberately while narrowing his brooding silver eyes. He turned away from Crabbe and checked the mirror. Much to his disappointment there was nothing... nada ...zip. He expected there to be something at least remotely interesting on his first major nighttime adventure. Well now that he looked closely there was something... huddled up on the dingy staircase that led up to the library. It was moving slightly, it was also fluffy and rather pink.  
"Erm ...Crabbe, how big is Rosie?" Draco asked.  
  
"She fits in my arm" Crabbe said proudly.  
"Oh well that's a relief... then who's that ? " Draco asked gesturing to the reflection in his mirror.  
"Erm......a girl?" Crabbe asked and Draco peered at the reflection. Crabbe was right, it was a girl ... her chest rose in and out as she breathed and Draco felt his heart pound slightly. Despite the fact he was easily one of the sexiest men at Hogwarts the female sex tended to elude him surprisingly. They all avoided him like the plague, and they all followed that damned scruffy Potter who couldn't even tie up his shoelaces properly. How ever, a girl asleep ...alone ...on a Hogwarts stair well did have it's appeals . Draco closed the compact with an impressive snap and stepped closer. She was hunched over snoozing gently and he could make out a thick leather book in her arms.  
  
"Who on earth would fall asleep on a stair well in the middle of the night clutching a book?" Draco asked.  
" Granger" Crabbe said promptly.  
"Who?" Draco asked and Crabbe thought for a moment.  
"You know Hermione Granger, that mud blood you used to make fun of all the time before you started picking on Pansy" Crabbe blurted out trying to sound intelligent.  
"Oh..Granger" Draco said waving his hand dismissively , he hadn't spoken to Granger after that incident in the hospital during their fifth year. After he helped that conniving speckled four-eyed bastard and he didn't even get a snap of gratitude. He didn't need to help people you know, he wasn't like that lousy bastard who did good things out of habit. It was hard for Draco and the least they could have said before riding off into a monochromatic sun set was thank you.  
  
"That can't be Granger.... she's to well ,too big in certain area's " Draco answered. He still remembered Hermione as being a skinny fourteen year old girl after all. It hurt too much to look at them now, after everything that bastard did.  
"What areas?" Crabbe asked and Draco remembered that in certain aspects Crabbe was a very innocent person.  
"I'll tell you when you get older, for now step over her ...not onto her ,we have to go up a floor to reach the great hall" Draco said carefully as Crabbe nodded his head.  
"No Crabbe stop nodding and focus... are you focusing ? " Draco asked and Crabbe tried to look intelligent.  
"Right! Do not, and I repeat do not step on the girl. Have you got that?" Draco asked firmly and Crabbe stopped nodding.  
"Do not step on the girl "he repeated firmly and Draco nodded, the two of them then walked up the stair case and then carefully edged their way around the sleeping female.  
"She's rather tall, I mean long.. .Do you think she's in our year?" Draco asked peering down at the girl as they edged past.  
  
"It's Granger" Crabbe said carefully following his instructions.  
"For the last time it is not Granger!" Draco snapped forgetting to keep quite. The girl stirred in her sleep and as her arm moved she knocked into Crabbe who immediately tripped over his feet and like an avalanche fell strait onto Draco. Draco with a mixture of shock and anger crashed disorientated onto the staircase.  
  
"Thank goodness , I landed on something soft" he muttered before opening his eyes.  
" AIIIIRRREEEEEEEE !!!!!!!! " a voice screamed at the top of its lungs. Draco's eyes snapped open and he found that he was staring at a pair of vibrating tonsils.  
"Fricken mudbloods ! " he screamed jumping back his heart beating in his chest. He found him self-staring at the face of the mysterious girl and she was staring back. She looked, in Draco's opinion absolutely beautiful.  
  
" I'm ...I'm so sorry" he said and to his extreme surprise he felt extremely nervous. She looked at him with vaguely familiar hazel eyes; her chocolate coloured hair had been pulled back in a thick braid down her back.  
" Draco?" She asked questionably her eyes furrowing up with concentration.  
"I haven't seen you since..." she said and Draco raised a silvery eyebrow, he actually knew this girl!  
" I'm sorry.... go back to sleep this is all a dream" he quaked stumbling up on his feet. The girl looked up at him and he realized he looked frightfully stupid in his green silk dressing gown and hair net.  
"Crabbe! Wait up" he managed to cry pounding up the steps after his friend.  
  
"Draco I don't see Rosie and I think she'll be scared all alone in the dark" Crabbe cried as they lumbered along the stairs.  
" Hey, I don't remember the stairs being this high up" Draco commented as they both jumped over the invisible trick step.  
"I don't remember a life with out Rosie" Crabbe sniffed pathetically.  
" So that girl...she was cute wasn't she?" Draco commented in general.  
"Not as cute as Rosie, although she was rather fluffy and pink" Crabbe answered and Draco rolled his eyes.  
"Crabbe, have you ever actually been with a girl?" he asked and Crabbe turned his head.  
'I sit next to Pansy all the time in potions" he answered.  
  
"That's not what I meant Crabbe, I mean you know have you ever been in love with a girl" Draco asked, there was silence from Crabbe as they continued to walk up the steps.  
"Is love that feeling when you really like a girl, more then chocolate and hitting people?" he asked.  
"Well yes. I suppose so," Draco said trying to think like Crabbe.  
"And is love that feeling when you think a girls really pretty, and you don't want to pull her hair?" Crabbe asked as they finally reached the stairs landing.  
"In your case most definitely" Draco said stepping off the last step.  
"Are you in love Draco?" Crabbe asked with child like innocence.  
  
"No or course not, don't be ridiculous" Draco answered, although he knew he was lying to himself. He knew exactly who the girl on the staircase was, although he would never admit it to himself let alone think of her name.  
" When we get back to the dormitory I'm burning those news paper clippings" Draco said firmly.  
"What clipping?" Crabbe asked.  
"Nothing imbecile" Draco snapped as they reached the doors leading to the great hall. Draco was about to proudly slam the doors back but stopped when he heard voices... male voices. Draco pressed his ear to the door and heard mutterings, the sort of sickly sweet mutterings that strictly belonged to bad fan fiction.  
"Oh bloody Hufflepuffs" Draco muttered.  
  
"What?" Crabbe asked, and Draco walked away as briskly as possible.  
"Believe me Crabbe if your beloved Rosie was in there, her eyes have most definitely and permanently been soiled to say the least" Draco said.  
" But..But Rosie" Crabbe cried desperately.  
"SHHH!" Draco cried furiously flicking back the sleeves of his dressing gown.  
"Do you want those two love birds to hear us? They might think we were listening in!" Draco cried stamping his foot.  
  
"Now think Crabbe, where else could you have left Rosie?" he asked and Crabbe thought for a moment.  
"She might have fallen out when you told me to punch Collin Creevey in the astronomy tower this afternoon" Crabbe answered and Draco nodded, he had a strict list of people that his two goons needed to beat up every day, after all he was a tyrant.  
"Fine! Onto the astronomy tower" Draco cried dramatically pointing towards the next stair well.  
  
"One hundred and twenty two, one hundred and twenty three" Crabbe muttered slowly under his breath his brow furrowed up with concentration.  
"Crabbe what are you doing?" Draco asked tiredly.  
"Counting steps" Crabbe replied cheerfully hopping up onto the next one.  
"Yes I gathered that, but why?" Draco asked.  
"I'm bored" was Crabbe's simple answer , before Draco had a chance to question this logic a bellowing voice stopped him.  
  
"What ho old chap? Why art thou stalking the towers during the waning moon hours?" a rather skinny 16th century portrait of William Shakespeare asked sounding slightly drunk.  
" We are looking for a teddy bear, a pink one" Draco replied dryly.  
"What is this thou speaks from thy rouge tongue ? I do not understand thy speech noble sir! " the portrait bellowed back and Draco whipped his wand out pointing it at the canvas.  
"Look , just let us pass with out informing any of the professors. Unless you want your next play to be filled with a lot of hey nonny nonny and a big bulls Dick" Draco snarled baring his white teeth. It was a well-known fact that there was a werewolf in the Malfoy ancestry . Although it was so long ago , that the only after affects were that three days out of the month Malfoys suffered from mood swings, cramps and a general feeling of being to big for their bodies.  
  
  
" Come away then, come away" the portrait cried dramatically and then sniffed peering down at Crabbe.  
"He just did a fart!" he said finishing his line with a beat of humour.  
"It must have been the cabbage I had for dinner " Crabbe said apologetically as they passed the portrait.  
"Well now that we've past the nutter in the doublet we can assume that we are only a few moments away from the astronomy tower." Draco commented as they began to feel a gentle breeze blowing at their hair. As they opened the door they heard the distinct sound of some one scuffling around and then sitting down.   
  
" I suggest you cover your eyes Crabbe, unless you want your child like innocence to be ruined" Draco drawled as he opened the door. Almost immediately the two teenagers were greeted with a cold winters wind that very nearly whipped Draco's hair net off , much to his anger. There was some one there , trying desperately to look inconspicuous over a textbook. However the lighted scented candles and the two champagne glasses tended to show his true intentions.  
  
"Well well well, it looks like some ones planning a little tea party on school property" Draco drawled kicking aside several bottles of butter beer.  
"Draco" a voice said plainly and the figure looked up, a face that was haggard and pale, with grey moon shadows under his green eyes.  
"Potter" Draco snapped calmly although he felt his heart beat unusually fast.  
"What are you doing here?" Harry asked tiredly and Draco was momentarily surprised by his politeness.  
"We are looking for a teddy bear, about this high and a dusky rose shade of pink." Draco said moving his hands.  
"A teddy bear?" Harry asked making sure he had heard right.  
"Her names Rosie" Crabbe said helpfully, and a little sadly.  
"What are you doing here Potter?" Draco asked smoothly and Harry's ragged cheeks flushed slightly.  
"I'm meeting some one actually" he said and Draco's eyes fell on the butter beer, the glasses and what looked suspiciously like rose petals.  
"Mills and Boons called Potter, they want there plot back" Draco sneered and Harry raised and eye brow.  
"Pansy reads them, don't ask" Draco said sternly and then nodded towards Crabbe. Crabbe obediently began lumbering around the tower searching for his teddy bear.  
"So who's the lucky boy, oh sorry I mean girl?" Draco grinned sardonically and Harry narrowed his eyes.  
"Girl actually" he said firmly and Draco pretended to act surprise.  
"That poor little lap dog Ronnikins of yours will be heart broken" Draco sighed and Harry just snorted.  
"This is coming from the git wandering the halls dressed in a silk dressing gown and a hair net" he replied and Draco's eyes narrowed coldly.  
"Unlike you Potter some of us prefer not to look like we woke up in a birds nest" he replied smoothly crossing to where Crabbe was heaving a Gargoyle aside.  
"I doubt that Rosie is under a piece of solid granite." Draco said gently moving Crabbe's arm.  
"Potter is this girl you're referring to damned sexy with a fluffy pink bath robe and gorgeous hazel eyes?" Draco asked leaning against the parapet.  
"Well she does wear a fluffy pink bath robe, her mum got it for her for Christmas you see" Harry admitted reluctantly.  
"Well Harry, it seems that your girlfriend prefers to sleep on the stairs rather then talk to you" Draco smiled and Harry shot him a suspicious look.  
"She's sleeping?" he asked and Crabbe turned away from where he had been successfully lifting up a waterspout.  
"Are you talking about that girl Draco? the one we found on the stairs?" He asked slowly and Harry looked at them both his eyes going wide.  
"Shit" he muttered running towards the astronomy tower's exit.  
  
"Butter beer?" Draco asked picking up one of the chilled bottles, Crabbe just nodded his eyes slightly red rimmed and the two boys sipped on there butterbeer, in comfortable silence.  
"When are we going to look for Rosie Draco?" Crabbe asked and Draco sighed pulling off his hair net.  
"Tomorrow Crabbe , definitely tomorrow" he answered sipping down the warm sweet liquid.  
  
The end of chapter one 


	2. chapter two wheee

Chapter two , the next morning  
  
"Never had to knock on wood!" Draco bellowed in the shower washing out the Sleek Easy potion , the instructions clearly stated that you must leave it in over night and then wash it out thoroughly ,leaving sleek and beautiful hair. Draco felt his skin crawl with distaste as the hot water disappeared briefly showering him in freezing cold droplets.  
" I'm in here you lousy son of a Mantic ore!" Draco yelled thumping his hand against the wall , almost immediately the water came rushing back and Draco resumed his singing.  
" Some one tell me why ..I do the things I don't want to do" he bellowed scrubbing his hair while bopping along to the music only he could here in his head. Once his hair had been perfectly scrubbed Draco turned off the taps and stepped out of the shower wrapping a thick white towel around his waste. He then trotted back into his dormitory leaving wet marks on the floor , and he almost gasped with shock. Some one was on Crabbe's bed , and by there slender frame and long blonde hair he could tell that it was definitely not a boy.  
"Shit" Draco muttered under his breath and the figure turned around. It looked down at Draco draped in nothing but a towel and then slowly crept up Draco's chest.  
" Gods I'm never dissing Santa Claus again , so have you come to tell me that I'm a bad boy?" Draco asked steeping closer gripping to the towel on his waist.  
"You are addressing me with human lust , you find me attractive ..I can see that your looking at my chest" the girl replied in a rather odd monotonous voice.  
"Well lady , that's because my eyes are open" Draco replied and the girl nodded briskly. It was then that he noticed the rather unusual shape of her ears.  
"I hate to break this to you , but your an elf" Draco said simply and the girls hands instantly flew towards her ears.  
"No I'm not! , I'm a human girl child" she replied firmly , and Draco raised an eye brown. He slowly crept towards his sea chest and rummaged around until he found his iron letter opener.  
"What's that ? "she asked suspiciously leaning forward and Draco caught a closer glimpse of her face , it was perfectly smooth and beautiful with out a single mark or freckle on the skin. While she was distracted Draco grabbed her skinny wrist and plunged the letter opener with into it , almost instantly she threw her head back howling at the ceiling , the howl was intense causing the plaster to shake off the walls . Draco withdrew the letter opener from her wrist and it surprisingly didn't leave a mark on her perfect snow white complexion.  
"That was a cruel trick human , you will be punished" she hissed her eyes glinting dangerously.  
"I don't think so , unless you want me transfiguring you into an iron bar" Draco replied smoothly and the elf's eyes grew wide with fear.  
"NO! anything but that! being within iron is like being buried alive!" she shrieked her shoulders shaking.  
"Well then I suggest you tell me what I want to know , but first I better put some pants on" Draco said swiftly hopping off his bed and towards his chest.  
" Um...I know that your not human , but do you mind looking away while I get dressed?" he asked looking at the elf who was staring intently at his chest.  
"Oh yes of course , I am sorry I have never been around a naked human of the male species before" she coughed and she turned her head politely towards the far wall.  
  
"Alright you can turn back now" Draco drawled sitting at his bed side table , the elf looked back and had a slightly disappointed expression on her face when she realized Draco was dressed in a thick green hooded jumper and long black pants.  
"I suppose your wondering why I'm here" she said firmly.  
"Well actually I was wondering why you were staring at my chest , but the first questions pretty good" Draco stated , the elf leaned over crossing her legs putting her head in her hands.  
"Well first you have to say the incantation" she said and Draco raised an eye brow.  
" The incantation?" he asked and she rolled her eyes.  
"I'm an elf , we don't just give away information ..you have to say the incantation so I'll be forced to tell you" she replied and Draco raised the corners of the mouth.  
"Force you , well that sounds rather kinky ...so elf , what is this incantation" he asked.  
"I cant tell you what the incantation is!" she replied completely affronted.  
":Well how am I supposed to say the incantation if I don't know what it is?" Draco snapped.  
"Alright , I'm breaking allot rules here...but I'll just tell you. I was sent here , to find what is unseen and what is supposingly dead ...it has been hidden for seventeen years by one of our leaders...but it has gone missing and it may resurface" she said ominously.  
"I cant tell you any more , it's my job to be completely cryptic you see...you'll have to figure out the rest for your self" she replied and then she clicked her fingers disappearing in front of Draco's eyes.  
Draco looked around his room suspiciously for a few moments half expecting to see her resurface , but nothing happened half grumbling to him self he left the dormitory closing the door behind him.  
  
"There was a girl in our dormitory" Draco said to Crabbe as they walked to there potions class room.  
"Was it Pansy" Crabbe asked bopping up and down slightly.  
"No it was definitely not Pansy" Draco replied thinking of the elf's strange beauty.  
"It was... you know a fairy , and she said she was looking for something" Draco hissed looking around uneasily/  
"Maybe she was...looking for Rosie" Crabbe asked attentively.  
"NO she was not , and I repeated not looking for Rosie" Draco snapped as they entered the dungeon ( little did he know how wrong he was) Crabbe puckered his lower lip.  
"Was she wearing a tutu?" he asked , and Draco stopped dead in his tracks.  
"Why on earth would she be wearing a tutu?" he asked sardonically raising an eyebrow.  
"All fairies wear tutu's I saw them at a pantomime with my ma last year" Crabbe answered as they continued to walk down towards the dungeons.  
"Yes but that was a pantomime , with badly choreographed dance movements and obnoxious singing little girls" Draco replied as they walked into the potions dungeon. Draco and Crabbe took there usual seats behind Potter and his amazing trio , and much to his distaste Goyle joined them.  
" Some one was touching my stuff last night , I found TWO of my MAGAZINES slightly out of place" Goyle growled at them dangerously his left eye twitching slightly. Draco and Crabbe looked at each other anxiously , Goyle was full of so much undiluted pent up rage it was rather frightening.  
"It must have been , the rat...that er lives in the floor board" Draco lied quickly as a muscle twitched on Goyle's cheek. Goyle growled like a wild wolf deep in his throat and Draco back away on his stool slightly.  
  
" Alright you pathetic excuses for alchemists , lets see if you actually managed to study for once" Snape snarled and he slithered into the room like a limping snake. His dark brooding eyes scanned the room and fell on Ronald Weasley.  
"Weasley , when was the potion Laverosa other wise known as the sleeping death first used?" Snape spat folding his arms.  
"Erm...in Italy?" Ron asked gulping down on his words , his ears turning bright red. Draco rolled his eyes , he of course knew the answer ..potions was on of his favorite subjects and he always did his home work for it.  
"WRONG Weasley! I said When not where , perhaps IO should send you to the library so you can borrow a dictionary !" Snape said his voice dripping with sarcasm.  
"Granger I know that your dieing to tell us , please enlighten us ALL " Snape said rolling his eyes as Hermione's hand waved in the air.  
"It was first used in the 16th century , professor" she said breathlessly , Snape just raised an eye brow.  
"Well you got the time period right at least , but could any one be any more specific?" Snape said glaring at the room in general. Unable to contain himself any longer Draco felt his hand shot up.  
"Malfoy " Snape sighed with exasperation.  
"Laverosa was first used in the 16th century muggle play Romeo and Juliet by a William Shakespeare. Later on wizards reading the play discovered that with a few minor adjustments the sleeping death potion would actually work , the name was derived from the key ingredient Lavender , and the word Rosa which means pink in Italian , this was describing the potions colour of course" Draco stated confidently as the rest of his class mates looked at him with a mixture of shock and awe.  
"Malfoy knew the answer?" Hermione choked scarcely able to believe it.  
"Malfoy actually KNEW something?" Ron shot back giving Draco a worried glance , Draco returned his look with a smug grin.  
"Today students , we are going to make Laverosa. Not enough to knock you out but your partner would be put to sleep for at least ten minutes. Now lets see , first things first ..I must split up the wonder team" Snape snapped glancing at Hermione Harry and Ron with pure hatred.  
" Potter, you will go with...NEVILLE" he yelled causing Neville to jump in his seat.  
"Weasley you will go Crabbe" Snape ordered and Ron groaned while Crabbe gave the room in general a cheerful grin.  
" Miss Granger , since your so sure of your intelligence I will be partnering you with Master Malfoy" Snape said vindictively and Draco made inaudible noises under his breath. As Snape continued to pair up the rest of the class room Hermione glanced over at Draco.  
"Well , are you moving or not?" she asked and Draco shrugged his shoulders.  
"I'm pretty comfortable here" he drawled and she glared at him picking up her cauldron. She crashed it onto his desk with a loud metallic BANG and glared at him as she sat on the stool which had been previously occupied by Crabbe.  
"Well?" she asked folding her arms with annoyance.  
"Well what?" Draco asked and she made a tutting noise under her breath.  
"Well are we going to begin or not?" she asked and Draco folded his arms.  
" Your the one that's just sitting there Granger , what's wrong didn't you get enough sleep last night" Draco asking wickedly and Hermione glared at him opening her apothocary kit.  
  
After around twenty minutes of working Draco couldn't help notice something wasn't quite right , for one thing nearly the whole class was asleep ..and they were to bloody stupid to create a potion that quickly.  
"Erm Hermione , do you think that maybe were working on this potion a bit to slow?" Draco asked and she yawned fiddling with her brown curl.  
"It's a very complicated potion , obviously there not doing it properly ...pass me the whisky" she said answered as Draco passed her a thick bottle of magical alcohol , she poured it into the thick liquid and it made a resounding glooping noise. Almost instantly Hermione's pretty face was engulfed in thick pink steam and she fell with a resounding crash onto the table.  
"Oh pickled hippogriffs! , Professor , Hermione just passed out!" Draco yelled , how ever there was no sarcastically witty reply. Draco's eyes scanned the room and saw the professor leaning against the door in a comatose state. Draco feeling slightly unnerved crept towards the professor peering at his face. It was gray , well grayer then usual , and the eyes were dusted with thick cobwebs. The cob webs were also strung in his thick oily hair giving it an off white sheen . Draco eyes crept downwards and he gulped , he didn't remember the professor wearing a suite of armour when he entered the class room.  
"Laverosa" he muttered under his breath backing away , he turned around and nearly walked into a thick black cotton wall.  
"Crabbe , thank god your awake!" Draco cried and Crabbe gave him a fearful glance.  
"Draco what's going on?" he asked his voice trembling and his thick banana like hands scrunching up.  
"I think that there must have been an accident with the potion...every ones fast asleep, except you" Draco said.  
"And me" the familiar voice of Weasley said and Draco jumped out of his skin.  
"Don't scare me like that WEASLE" Draco yelled at the top of his lungs , secretly hoping to wake up his comatose class mates.  
"Why are you awake any way?" he asked and Ron shot Crabbe a dirty look.  
"Ask him!" Ron said pointedly and Crabbe smiled.  
" I dropped my toy soldier in the potion! it melted and every thing!" he said in an excited voice and Draco shushed him.   
" Look at this ...they've only been asleep for a few minutes and there covered with dust and cobwebs" Draco whispered creeping towards his desk.  
"Whoa" he cried blinking with surprise.  
"I don't remember Hermione wearing THAT at breakfast" Ron remarked as they looked down at the sleeping girl. Hermione was dressed in a very revealing 16th century ball gown in deep shades of sky blue. Her usual bushy brown hair now fell in glossy ringlets around her face e, and a thin silver circlet was pinned into her hair.  
"Sleeping beauty" Draco muttered under his breath remembering the night before.  
"Ok I really think we should go fine a teacher" Ron said backing away from Draco.  
  
Unfortunately like the potions class room , it was discovered that the rest of the castle was fast asleep. There were snoozing students in the library , snoring teachers in the staff room and sleeping house elves in the kitchen. Draco opened one of the house elf's cooking pots and it was filled with nothing but cobwebs and disintegrated food.  
"Ok why do I have a feeling that we are going to be run down by a fairy godmother soon?" Ron asked as Crabbe picked up a half stale bread roll and began to munch into it enthusiastically.  
"A sleeping potion shouldn't do this...I think I should go for help" Draco said bravely walking out of the kitchen.  
"You why should you go?' Ron sneered.  
"Lets face it Ron , I'm much more cuter" Draco grinned sardonically as they crossed the Hogwarts corridor.  
  
" Oh it's you again" Draco said as some one with fly away blonde hair and pointy ears dropped down in front of them as they exited the castle.  
"I see that you have witnessed the magical disturbances" she said putting a hand to the sword that had been hung around her waist.  
"A magical disturbance , that's what this is?" Draco asked and she nodded briskly grabbing him by his shirt.  
"You and your friends must leave before it gets and worse" she said peering around anxiously , her eyes fell on Ron and the poor boy suffered a moment of joy before passing out.  
"Blondes tend to have that effect on him" Draco explained as Crabbe picked Ron up swiftly and hauled him onto his shoulders..  
"Quickly , we must leave this building " She said grabbing his hand.  
"You know it's occurred to me that I don't know your name" Draco said as she ran down towards the Hogwarts grounds pulling him along side her.  
"Well I don't know yours mortal" she replied.  
"It's Draco" he said and she nodded briskly as they continued to run.  
" Good name , mine cant be pronounced in human tongue , call me what ever you want" she replied as there feet pattered across the wet grass. Draco looked at her out of the corner of his eyes and took in her long beautiful blonde hair and her sky blue eyes.  
"You look like a Mary Sue to me" he replied and she cocked her head slightly.  
"Mary Sue ..I like it " she said tentively as she drew to a stop once they reached the lakes floor.  
"Every one get down!" she ordered and the three boys instantly fell on the grassy knoll tasting dirt.  
"What on earth did you make us do that for?" Draco yelled realising his beautifully pressed robes had been ruined. As the words left his mouth the ground began to shake violently.  
"EARTH QUAKE" Draco cried as the shaking grew worse. Mary Sue grabbed his hand and forced him to stay down while he felt him self being shaken to pieces. Worst sill his beautiful silver hair was reverting back to it's curly state. Then as quickly as it had come the shaking stopped.  
"Thank god it's over" Draco cried.  
"I think I wet my pants!" Crabbe said looking sheepish , and every one except the unconscious Ron backed away from him.  
"The earth quakes only mean one thing!" Mary Sue cried as the air grew incredibly still. The wind stopped completely , and there wasn't a sound except for there breathing. Then like a gun shot a massive sonic BOOM erupted into the air. BOOM echoed across the field again as they all clutched there hands across there ears. Draco's silver gray eyes met the castle and his mouth opened wide with horror , for with each BOOM a thick thorn covered vine , so thick it would take eight Draco's to stretch all the way around it , erupted from the earth. As soon as they reappeared showering dirt in the air they proceeded to rap them selves around the castle. Soon the air was thick with dirt and a perpetual twilight covered the lake , the booming continued one after an other and Draco found he couldn't watch any more , he was forced to cover his head to keep the dirt from entering his mouth. After the thirtieth boom , the stillness returned , Draco slowly raised his head and looked over at Mary Sue questioningly. Fine particles of dust fell around them like mud coloured snow , Crabbe tried to catch some on his tongue only to spit it out when realising what it really was.  
"I think it's over" Mary Sue said swaying slightly , her pointed ears twitched and she reached down touching the ground.  
"I cant feel or hear any more vibrations, we are safe for now" she added.  
" What the hell is going on?" Draco yelled unable to take it any more , Mary Sue shrugged her shoulders.  
"Its a magical disturbance like I said... and it's only going to get worse" she said ominously.  
"This is a magical disturbance? it looks like a scene out of a Disney movie!" Draco spat folding his grime covered arms.  
"It's a sleeping beauty spell , there usually only performed by fairy godmothers...some one must have triggered it causing the magical disturbance to manifest itself" Mary Sue stated looking carefully at Malfoy.  
"Don't look at me! I admitted that she was pretty and that she was asleep , but I had no idea it would manifest it's self into this SPELL thing!" Draco cried and Ron groaned waking up. He glanced at them all with bleary eyes and sniffed.  
"What on earth is that strange smell?" he asked every on in general. Draco looked at the fast spreading stain on Crabbe's pants and sighed.  
"Alright first things first , we must get Crabbe a new pair of pants" Draco said , Ron looked down at Crabbe with horrible realization and his face turned a sickly shade of green.  
  
Chapter three the sleeping beauty  
  
After transfiguring Draco's Jacket into a pair of practical yet stylish pair of Jeans and giving them to Crabbe ( who changed behind a bush) the band of heroes sat down amongst the falling dirt to discuss there next move.  
"So your saying that the whole castle has been put asleep for over 100 years? that's nuts!" Ron cried and then blushed furiously when Mary Sue looked at him.  
" Or let me guess , until true loves first kiss?" Draco asked rolling his eyes.  
" Me mum once read me a fairy story like this , there were three fairies in it" Crabbe added helpfully and Mary Sue gave him an encouraging smile.  
"That story was probably a reference to real fact , the sleeping beauty curse has been used countless times in our past ..when non magical humans discovered it they turned it into a story about a princess and unfortunately the only way to break the spell is to wake up the princess , or the young lady that was put under the spell" Mary Sue said.  
" but who's the princess?" Ron asked.  
"It's Hermione" Draco said firmly a scowl on his face , he glared at the others.  
"So what do we have to do to get into the castle?" he asked raising an eye brow.  
  
"The first thing we'll need to do is cut back this vines , preferably with a magic sword " Mary Sue said her hands on her hips as she peered at the thick writhing canopy.  
"Will weed killer do?" Ron asked running up towards them pushing what looked like a wheelie bin in front of him.  
"Weed Killer?" Mary Sue cried an outraged expression on her face.  
"Well I asked Hagrid for a magical sword but he said that Fang bit through his last one , this was all he had" Ron said opening up the bin. He pulled out sets of thick plastic robes and gas masks with matching thick dragon hide gloves.  
"Hagrid said the weed killers pretty dangerous when it's not diluted , and that we had to wear these suits" he said handing them to Crabbe and Draco , Crabbe of course put his on the wrong way around and had great difficulty putting on his gas mask. Mary Sue glanced down at her own plastic robe distastefully.  
"I'm immortal , I can survive a little bit of weed killer" she stated as the other boys got dressed. Once they were decked out in thick dragon hide and plastic the boys pulled there gas marks on over there heads and Ron reached into the bin pulling out several large spray pumps.  
Hagrid lived up to his word , the weed killer was powerful , as soon as it touched a vine it would immediately shrivel up and die. The trouble was , there were so many , after twenty minutes of steady work they had entered Hogwarts main hall , but it was completely unrecognisable. Mist crawled from the floor around there ankles and the vines hung low above there heads making the light a sinister golden green. The only sound was the occasionally spraying of the pumps and then the sizzling of dieing plants. Crabbe broke the silence.  
"this...was where I lost Rosie , I think" he said his voice choking slightly.  
"Will you shut up about your stupid teddy bear , this is more important Draco cried. Mary Sue suddenly looked at Crabbe ( the tallest figure dressed in plastic) a curious expression on her face.  
"Did you say Rosie?" she asked and Crabbe nodded sighing slightly.  
"Interesting,...what is your name mortal boy?" she asked.  
"Crabbe" he sniffed pitifully and Mary Sues eyes grew wide with shock.  
"What?" Draco asked his sarcastic tone slightly ruined by his gas mask.  
"It is not important , not now" Mary Sue stated as they continued to explore Hogwarts.   
  
Eventually they reached the stair case that lead downwards towards the dungeons , white mist flowed upwards ominously and Draco felt his Adams apple bob slightly with nerves.  
"Do you think this is a wise idea? there might be dragons or some sort of troll" Draco asked the group.  
"There are no monsters in sleeping beauty , just witches" Crabbe said knowledgeably nodding his head causing his gas mask to fall slightly askew.  
"Either way I'm pretty apprehensive about going down there" Ron stated peering into the gloom.  
"The only way to stop the magical disturbance is to wake the princess , we must go down there' Mary Sue said firmly her hands creeping towards her swords hilt.  
"But why are there magical disturbances? that's the only part I don't understand" Ron replied his ears going a dark shade of pink.  
"An object that belonged to my people was stolen and hidden seventeen years ago where it remained dormant , unused. Recently how ever some one used it , and we were able to trace it to ...here Hogwarts after that I have no idea what happened to it. My commanding officer sent me here to find it , but so far I've turned up nothing. It is not in the hands of the thief some one else must have it. When it's used this object lets of waves of magic , and any casual remark can weave a powerful spell ..if you think this sleeping beauty spell is bad you ain't seen nothing yet" Mary Sue said as they apprehensively walked down the stairs.  
"Well what was the object , a ring of power?" Draco asked sarcastically gripping onto a vine for support.  
"NO , actually I don't know what it is , I'm only a low level police officer ..I usually handle traffic in the light realm. The only reason why I was sent on this mission was because every one was to busy cleaning up the mess this thief has created" she said with real bitterness in her voice. She slashed at a creeping vine that was slowly making it's way towards Draco's pump.  
" Keep lively , I think the vines have figured out what we're doing" she said looking around apprehensively and the boys quickly sprayed the vines in a wall of acidic weed killer. As the vines shriveled up the smell of burnt leaves filled there nostrils. Mary Sue waver slightly and touched one of the vines.  
"Let us pass , unless you want you and your comrades to die" she whispered and to there Amazement the vine writhed and moved out of there way. The mist slowly disappeared and they were finally able to see the steps.  
  
Finally , hot and sweaty under the plastic , they reached the dungeon , the Dungeons door was completely covered with the thickest vines yet and they moved like oily snakes almost hissing in the dim light.  
Mary Sue eyed the vines and seemed to cock her head as if listening.  
"Draco step forward" she ordered and the thinnest figure in plastic walked briskly over to her.  
"What now Mary Sue?" he asked sarcastically and she ignored his comment pointing towards the vines.  
"They say that they will only let prince charming through...they say that prince charming is most likely to be you" she said and there was the sound of muffled laughter coming from Ron.  
"Him Prince charming?" he laughed and Draco tried to shoot him a dirty look , although it was ruined by the gas mask blocking his eyes.  
"Your just jealous that even botany prefers me to you" he sneered and turned back to Mary Sue.  
"What do I do?" he asked , Mary Sue pulled her sword out of her sheath , it was a rapier with a near invisible blade that shimmered in the light.  
"Use my sword , it can cut through any thing , one swing should do it" she said placing it in his hand. Draco felt his fingers grip around the well worn handle and he tested the wait , it was surprisingly light and easy to use. He eyed the vines and slowly lifted the sword up , he swung back and prepared the strike . As if the vines knew what he was planning they writhed once more , and then spilt away reveling the open door way. Draco looked behind his shoulder anxiously and stepped forwards. almost instantly the vines closed behind him causing Draco to jump in his plastic robes. He slowly removed his gas mask pulling it down until it hung around his neck and then he stepped forwards. The spell had been weaving it's magic since Draco had left , instead of being asleep on the table Hermione was lying on what looked like a dusty four poster bed. The other students were missing , but Draco suspected they were in a sense still there. Draco crept over the thick Velvet carpet and towards the sleeping beauty. Hermione's body showed all signs of Laverosa , her chest barely rose and her skin was tinged with blue, icy cold. Draco stood before her and removed one of the dragon hide gloves touching her wrist , it was icy cold but he could , just barely feel a pulse.  
"Damn , what do I do now" Draco muttered , he leaned over and shook Hermione firmly by the shoulders. nothing happened. He then tried yelling at her to wake up. that didn't work either.  
" You have to kiss her! that's how sleeping beauty ends!" Crabbe's slightly muffled voice cried from the vine wall. Draco peered down at Hermione's face suspicious ..was this all some sort of plot created to make him reveal his feelings for her?. If he kissed her , and she woke up well then it would prove that she was his one true love and Draco wasn't ready to admit that. She looked quite pretty while she slept , but Draco had noticed that on the stairs the night before. He had also noticed that all those years ago in the hospital , after the accident...but he didn't want to think about that it was far to painful. What was he doing kissing her any way , he didn't want any thing that technically belonged to POTTER . But then again he didn't want to attend to a school covered with half dead vines. He reached forward and quickly , awkwardly kissed her on the lips...nothing happened.  
"Nothing happened , I guess I'm not prince charming after all" Draco called to the others and there was a thoughtful silence.  
"Did you kiss her properly?" Mary Sue cried.  
"What?" Draco yelled back feeling slightly disturbed.  
"I SAID did you kiss her properly , a real passionate head ringing kiss" Mary Sue shot back and Draco narrowed his silver eyes. So it had to be one of those kisses , he thought to him self and he wished that he'd remembered his lip balm stick. He breathed on his hand , making sure his breath didn't smell to bad and then he leant forward. It was quite uncomfortable leaning over a person and kissing them , he had to give credit to those fairy tale princes after all. Shifting slightly so he didn't get a crick in his neck he continued to kiss sleeping beauty for fifteen seconds and was about to pull away when a pair of very warm arms threw themselves over his neck. Startled, Draco leapt back and quickly put his gas mask back on as Hermione opened her eyes. Her hazel eyes shot quickly around the dusty class room and she then looked down at her self with a mixture of realization and horror. While this was going on the creepers disappeared allowing Mary Sue , Crabbe and Ron to run inside. Then desks covered with half groggy students appeared as if some one had pulled off an invisibility cloak. Hermione looked at the three boys who for some strange reason were dressed in thick yellow plastic robes and she watched as they removed there gas marks , Mary Sue had skulked off into the darkest corner.  
"What on earth happened , did I inhale to much of the sleeping potion?" Hermione asked looking at Crabbe Ron and Draco.  
"Your sleeping beauty!" Crabbe grinned running up to Hermione an awe struck expression on his face.  
"Sleeping beauty?" she asked and Crabbe nodded his head enthusiastically.  
" You are! you had every thing ! the castle! the vines! the prince...the only thing is that Rosie missed it" Crabbe finished sadly , but he still continued to look at Hermione with shiny adoring eyes.  
"It was a sleeping beauty spell Granger , Ron broke it" Draco said briskly avoided every ones eyes.  
"No I didn't.." Ron said but he stopped when he saw the bitter pinched up expression on Draco's half hidden face.  
"Oh yeah.. I did , I saved you Herm" Ron grinned proudly basking in the glory he had gained using false pretences. Hermione jumped off the desk spilling her cauldron.  
"How did you save me Ronald Weasley?" she asked a small smile on her face.  
"Well it was like the story , I kissed you of course" Ron said , the lie came easily because he knew fully well that he didn't do it.  
"Oh , I was wondering who that was...so where's Harry?" she asked looking at the three of them.  
"His waking up with the others" Draco snarled and Hermione's eyes went wide with surprise.  
"You mean he didn't help at all?" she asked not knowing what to think.  
"No we did it all by ourselves Granger" Draco replied choking on his words. He looked away from her and nodded towards Crabbe.  
"Come on Crabbe , lets get out of here before Snape wakes up" he ordered.  
"Can we go visit the ducks?" Crabbe asked as they walked out.  
"Only if you promise to punch that smug Raven Claw Charles Blau in the mouth , his been very disrespectable" Draco replied as there voices faded and they disappeared. Mary Sue soon followed but before she left she turned her head and smiled at Hermione.  
"It was an honor to meet you sleeping beauty" she said softly before exiting. 


	3. I am sexy , yes I am

The goose who laid the golden egg.  
  
A/N Dear GOD WHY AM I UPDATEING THIS HORRIBLE THINGY? IT IS A THINGY OF DOOM any way whoo hoo heres an edited thingy  
  
"PULL" Draco bellowed at the top of his lungs causing several ducks to fly off with fright. Several teenagers instantly raised there wands and they looked up at the sky like a urologist that had just seen a speck on the horizon. They continued to stare at the sky for a few moments and they then turned to Draco puzzled.  
"Crabbe I said PULL!" Draco bellowed and Crabbe looked up from his precarious position on the catapult.  
"There's nothing to pull" he said a puzzled expression on his face and Draco nearly did a little dance of rage.  
"What do you mean there's nothing to pull? what happened to the apples?" Draco asked.  
"Well..you see , there's a problem with the apples" Crabbe said a pained expression on his face.  
" What's the problem with the apples?" Draco asked.  
"I ate all the apples!" Crabbe choked and then dove under the catapult as Draco marched towards him.  
It was a typical meeting for the dueling club , which had been formed during Draco's second year. The remaining members who were supposed to be practicing there targeting on the air borne apples glared at Crabbe and formed into rough social cliques.  
  
A week had passed , a seemingly normal dull as potions week. Draco could almost forget the sleeping beauty curse , unless he saw the wonder team at breakfast , then the memories would come fluttering back and he'd grind his perfectly capped porcelain teeth together. Draco , telling himself it was for the best had kept his word , after the sleeping beauty fiasco he had pulled out the yellowing news paper articles and that night he had crept up to one of the many towers to perform his deed. Draco shook his head as he remembered the smell of burning magic as he pushed the clippings into the flame , the way her grinning face stared at him as the flames consumed her. Draco was never sure why he kept the clippings , perhaps it was to prove to himself that it was him who had saved her , and not Pot head despite what the rest of the world thought.  
"Draco?" Crabbe asked peeking up through the catapults frame.  
"Yes?" Draco asked shaking his head distracted.  
" Weasley's walking towards us , I think he wants to talk to you" Crabbe managed to choke as he tried to crawl under the catapult and got stuck.  
Draco raised a melodramatic silver eye brow and strode towards Ron confidently , his approach was ruined when he tripped over a clump of earth.  
"Friggen flobber worms" he swore as he hopped over to Ron clutching onto his injured foot.  
"What do you want Weasley?" he hissed as he approached the red headed boy clutching onto his ankle.  
"I need to talk to you about what happened last week" Ron said clenching his teeth.  
"Don't worry , Pot head and Granger aren't around you can talk to me" Draco drawled sarcastically and Ron's shoulders sagged with relief.  
"Thank god , those two are driving me crazy , Hermione's mad at Harry for not helping and Harry's mad at me for kissing Hermione... even though I didn't do it IN THE FIRST PLACE!" Ron said his ears going red.  
"I don't even understand why his mad it's not like there a couple or anything" Ron added and Draco rolled his eyes.  
"Pretend that I'm not interested in your sick little love triangle and get to the point" Draco said ignoring the stabbing pain in his stomach when he thought of Hermione and Harry being a couple.  
"Well what with them barely speaking to each other and neither of them speaking to me , I want to know what's going on Malfoy... I mean who was that chick , you know the blonde one she was really hot!" Ron said an excited expression on his face and Draco suddenly felt extremely nauseous.  
" Please Weasley don't say hot and chick in the same sentence it sickens me" Draco drawled as there was a resounding crash and the catapult crashed onto the ground smashing several centuries of antique carved wood work.  
"Sorry!" Crabbe's voice cried , Ron turned to Draco an earnest hungry expression on his face.  
"You didn't answer my question Malfoy" he said leaning towards him.  
" Get away from me you stink beast! she's an elf if you must know!" Draco cried and Ron gave him a puzzled look.  
"An elf?" he asked and Draco nodded.  
"An elf named Mary Sue" Draco said and Ron nodded thoughtfully.  
" Good name , it suites her" Ron admitted and Draco narrowed his dashingly dark and attractive eyes , well technically they were more light greyish then dark but that was besides the point.  
" Are your trying to get me to set you two up on a date or do you a legitimate excuse for talking to me?" Draco asked and Ron's cheeks flushed red with rage.  
" I want to know what's going on Draco Malfoy" Ron said trying to sound stern but failed miserably after all he was the side kick.  
" Why on earth are you asking me? in fact why are you even talking to me? shouldn't Harry be doing the questioning?" Draco asked putting a hand to his chest.  
"Not every things about Harry you know , infact there are places in the world maybe not Hogwarts where the name potter is very rarely spoken" Ron said bitterly and Draco raised a silvery eye brow.  
"Oh I see that some ones suffering from Potter envy , fine I know of a soul who will know what's going on" Draco said his eyes searching the Hogwarts grounds. In the distance Draco spied what looked like a figure sitting at the base of an elm tree reading a book.  
"There that's our girl!" Draco said grabbing Ron's wrist.  
  
"SLYTHERIN" a stern young woman's voice said as Draco grabbed a thick heavy tome out of the her arms and tossed it onto the perfect grass.   
"Hufflepuff" Draco retorted and the young woman glared at him with cold calculating hatred. The young woman in question was intellectually good looking , her dark ( dyed) auburn hair was pulled casually away from her face and she was wearing extremely chick reading glasses with bright blue lenses.  
"Weasley meet Alexia Green , other wise known as the amazing butt sucker" Draco sneered.  
"No one calls me that" Alexia said firmly giving Ron a brief and overall polite smile.  
" Little Alexia's only 15 yet some how she's a Hufflepuff seventh year" Draco grinned at made obnoxious but kissing noises.  
"Don't listen to him , I moved here from Australia when I was eleven . There university has a different schooling system they start teaching you magic when your nine. When I came here my house head decided that in order to further me in my studies I should be allowed to skip a few grades" Alexia said smugly and Draco rolled his eyes.  
"I see that your researching again" Draco said picking up the book.  
"Researching? researching what?" Ron asked and a nervous look fleeted across Alexia's face.  
"It's NOT important" she said giving Draco a firm look.  
"Don't be so modest Alexia , dear little Alexia is about to become the youngest author ever publish by flourish and blotts books limited" Draco smiled and Alexia made inaudible noises under her breath.  
"Really! that's great " Ron said completely shocked giving Alexia a warm smile.  
" Her books called the amazing trio the eternal love triangle" Draco said casually.  
" Really? is it one of those romance novels?" Ron asked a disgustingly thinking of the books his younger sister Ginny read while eating piles of chocolate frogs while declaring she would never find a man like Rodrigo.  
"Actually no , it's a biography about two famous wizards and a famous witch" Alexia said giving Draco a pleading glance.  
"It's an authorized biography actually Alexia , and you'll never guess who these wizards are!" Draco grinned vindictively and Alexia slowly shook her head.  
"Harry Potter and the wonder team!" Draco declared and Ron's eyes went wide with shock.  
"WHAT?" he yelled and Alexia had the decency to look guilty.  
" Prepare to be sick , tell him how much flourish and blotts are paying you" Draco said sternly.  
" There giving me two thousand galleons based on a sample chapter" Alexia said proudly.  
"And your saying that the books about us?" Ron asked scarcely able to believe it.  
"The public demands more information about you guys , ever since that incident with Granger in the hospital.."  
"Which I thought we would never ever DISSCUSS Alexia Green" Draco snapped his eyes narrowing.  
"Fine! ever since the THING the public have demanded to know every thing" Alexia grinned.  
"Alexia's going to be the youngest author to tackle the subject , and before you think of suing her she's putting a disclaimer on the first page" Draco said enjoying the tension he had created very much.  
"I am not affiliated with Harry Potter Warner Brothers or J.K Rowling in any way , I am merely a fan expressing my self creatively" Alexia chimed as if she had said that line many times before.  
"Disclaimers! Pffft! as long as you put a disclaimer you could say just about anything. You could write about Harry being as crime lord ten years in the future with Draco as his gay side kick ! you could write several scenes with them making out and sucking each other off in the closet!" Ron cried furiously.  
"You've had allot of time to think about this hav'nt you?" Alexia asked an amused expression on her face.  
" You , you could write about me getting on with some hot chick while refusing to write who she is! you'll just tease the loyal readers mercilessly while describing our rapid sex scenes!" Ron cried hysterically , his mouth opened ensuring another hysterical rant when Draco's pale slightly weedy fist punched him strait in the jaw.  
"What was that for?" Ron asking touching his bruised jaw.  
"For being a bloody idiot!" Draco shot back.  
"As if any one in there right mind would write a story about you shagging any one remotely attractive , and as for the gay Harry crime lord AS IF" Draco declared and Alexia snickered.  
" Draco you sound like an American reject!" she cried and Draco's usual face flushed with anger.  
"Alexia I was going to ask you something do to critical importance but I may as well ask Granger now" Draco said casually and Alexia jumped up a pleading expression on her face.  
"NO! I'm ever so smart and she always gets to do the research thing! let me help you!" Alexia cried. Draco slowly and deliberately winked at Weasel ( who was still thinking of Slash fics and was now feeling slightly disturbed).  
"Well you could tell us about what a magical disturbance is" Draco said slowly and Alexia deflated slightly.  
"Oh that's easy A magical disturbance Malfoy , for your big fat information is all to do with balance. Powerful magical objects leak wild magic into our atmosphere ..usually it's only mildly diluted which is where our wand magic comes from. How ever if an object has been used inappropriately the magic leaks every where causing magical disturbances" Alexia said smugly and a little pompously.  
"Thank you Alexia , a little bit smug but most satisfactory now excuse us while we go and have a panic attack over here" Draco said and began to walk away.  
"It was nice..to meet you" Ron managed to choke and Alexia shrugged her shoulders.  
" Eh what ever , I expected you to be taller really" she said shrugging her shoulders.  
"Taller? but I'm already bloody six foot!" Ron cried and Draco walked back towards him and grabbed him swiftly by his shoulder.  
"Pardon us Alexia , but we have places to go to people to victimize... you know how it is" Draco said giving her his winning smile that caused many girls to write his name on toilet walls.  
" The school tyrant can never sleep" Alexia added and Draco winked roguishly at her causing Alexia to roll her eyes.  
"If you find anything else on magical disturbances you know where my assistants Crabbe and Goyle live" Draco called over his shoulder and when he was firmly out of site Alexia sighed and very nearly swooned.  
"Gods he looks just like that guy from N*sync" she sighed leaning against the tree trunk.  
  
The trouble with the beans had started with Dawn the environmentalist third year Raven Claw . Dawn herself was hardly a key player in this story , but the beans she happened to plant a few yards away from the forbidden forest were. Dawn who was a proud feministic member of the dueling club had decided to bury all the vegetables she could get her hands on in order to stop Draco from using them for targeting.  
"I'm sorry Draco I tried to stop her , but she wouldn't listen!" Seamus Finnigan cried as Draco pushed him roughly aside a furious expression on his perfectly poised face.  
"Dawn Blau?" Draco bellowed walking towards a four metre deep pit. A head peaked out a bushy messy mud covered thirteen year old head with an angry expression on her face.  
"Don't even think about trying to stop me! it's cruel an inhumane killing innocent fauna at the time of there lives for your sick sadistic purposes!" Dawn cried waving her spade in the air like a truncheon. Perhaps it was time for some back round history on Dawn , Dawn the youngest member of the dueling club had joined on her eleventh birthday claiming the club was sexist and that she was joining for woman every where. She was rather shocked how ever , when she discovered that some of the clubs best duelers such as Angelina Johnson were women. After the older female members left Hogwarts Dawn decided it was her duty to rally all the younger female members together and hold a bra burning in protest of Draco's smarmy sleazy approach to woman. Once again Dawn was humiliated , while the other girls burnt there satin push up pieces of lingerie wonder Dawn had nothing to burn but her wooly vest her grandmother had sent her for Christmas. Now Dawn was protesting on the vegetables and pieces of fruit the dueling club used for targeting practice.  
" Your not making any sense granola breath , your a vegetarian there fore you eat vegetables there fore you are the sickest most sadistic one of all" Draco said sarcastically and Dawn growled under her breath.  
" I eat the vegetables Malfoy , I don't waste there innocent lives for a pathetic barbaric form of violence" she pressed on and Draco rolled his eyes.  
"Dawn the fruit we use is rotten , there innocent lives are long over" Draco reminded her , Dawn gave Draco a triumphant look.  
"Oh really and what do you call these?" she asked thrusting her opened hand under Draco's nose. Draco squinted at several goldish round slightly deformed objects.  
"Badly made Christmas decorations?" he asked and Dawn snorted.  
"NO! there beans magic beans bursting with life and opportunities. Some one decided it would be funny to put an engorging charm on them and blow them up!" Dawn cried hysterically glaring at her older brother Charles Blau who was looking extremely sheepish.  
" Magic beans?" Draco asked and Dawn looked a bit sheepish.  
"Well I'm not quite sure if there really magic , some one could have just sprayed some baked beans with gold paint. But that doesn't matter it's still a living creature that should be allowed to fulfill it's destiny!! it could grow into..a...er bean stalk!" Dawn cried trying desperately to make an intelligent comment.  
" Dawn , please shut the hell up" Draco snapped and Dawn growled with rage.  
"Your just angry because once again some one else rescued your precious Granger" she muttered under her breath.  
"Wait , how did you know about that?" Draco asked his eyes widening with shock.  
"The whole school knows about it Draco , you fancy the robes of Hermione Granger" Dawn replied.  
"I do not fancy the robes off her , nor do I fancy any other part of her clothing!" Draco snapped and Dawn rolled her brown eyes.  
"Please I heard all about it in the girls toilet this morning" Dawn replied as if that made it true.  
"Now if you don't mind I need to get back to planting the beans" Dawn replied disappearing back into her hole.  
"If your just planting the beans then why the hell do you need a hole that deep?" Draco bellowed and Charles Blau tapped Draco on the shoulder.  
"She's insists on burying all our supplies for the next six months" Charles said calmly. Draco's eyes slowly went wide and his neck began to stiffen. His teeth clenched together with frustration and it all became a bit to much for him.  
"If any one wants me I'll be in the prefects bathroom taking a bubble bath!" he cried dramatically before stalking off.  
  
By that night Draco was feeling allot better , he was spruced buffed up and shiny..smelling vaguely like jasmine. His feet had been scrubbed with pumice and rubbed in with chamomile oil , his skin had been exfoliated. He had even performed a tooth whitening spell on his pearly whites. Now he laid on his back while his own personal house elf massaged his shoulders and told him he had a lot of tension in his back.  
"Tell me about it , the world is trying to drive me insane!" Draco cried wincing slightly as the house elf continued to slap his back.  
Crabbe was sitting on the window sill staring out at the night sky his book of fairy tales on his lap. Occasionally he would turn to a certain page in his book stare at it and then continue to stair out the window with wonder.  
" Crabbe , what on earth are you staring at? did some one hit you on the back of your head with a baby mandrake?" Draco asked and Crabbe turned to him.  
"There's a bean stalk , out side ...there might be giants" Crabbe said hopefully.  
" Oh yes Dawn planted some beans out on the grounds this morning.. she must have put a fertilizing potion on them to make the stalk. Still I'm surprised you can see it...your eye site must be pretty good" Draco said his mind feeling like pink fairy floss as he fully relaxed into his massage.  
"Well it's pretty big Draco" Crabbe said cheerfully still looking out the window. Draco pushed the house elf away and signaled for it leave he then walked towards the window in his boxer shorts and not much else.  
" See Crabbe nothing to worry about , it's a perfectly normal gigantic bean stalk" Draco said groggily as he peered out into the night time gloom. Draco's eyes slowly grew with realization and his mouth formed a grim line.  
"Oh shit" he swore and a voice , a seductive honey voice dripping with perfection and feminine beauty whispered in his ear.  
"Oh shit is right Malfoy" and Draco looked into the sky blue gorgeous eyes of Mary Sue.  
  
  
  
  
Chapter five : The goose who laid the golden egg  
  
Hermione was annoyed , more then annoyed actually she was bloody pissed off.  
"I'm meant to be the leading the female character in this narrative and the bloody environmentalist gets more lines then I do!" she cried clutching onto the front of her pale pink dressing robe. She was in her standard romantic heroine pose by the large open window even though it was freezing cold and it was beginning to snow. She shivered slightly , from a mixture of annoyance and cold. Her warm comfortable pajamas were in the laundry and she was forced to wear the expensive silk camisole her aunts had bought her for her sixteenth birthday. It was a gorgeous raspberry red concoction but it was completely impractical for the freezing Scottish weather. It also went rather badly with her messy slightly damped knotty hair that had been scraped back with a hair tie and her tatty old carpet slippers. Hermione was never sure what drew her to the window that night , perhaps it was all part of some sort of divine plan or perhaps she needed to get some fresh air in order to get rid of the smell of Lavenders perfume. The horrendous oily scent had wormed its way out of the thick glass bottles on Lavenders messy desk and it was now filling the room with choking clouds. Not that the other girls would notice , they were still down stairs in the common room comparing there divination notes while trying to look at Harry's ass indiscreetly. Hermione wasn't quite sure what was so appealing about doing this , after all Harry was rather on the scrawny side. She sighed the way most heroines do and watched as tiny flakes of snow began to fall settling on the window sill. The cold hair blasted at her cheeks like the air conditioning in her parents dental surgery and she shivered trying to draw her bathrobe over her ample cleavage.  
"In the dark of the blackest night" she spoke softly almost singing under her breath watching the white mist rise from the freezing ground.  
"I can see that there a burning light , burning bright.." she sang softly and slightly distracted as her eyes were drawn to a tiny speck of light in the fog some distance away. As she watched with detached interest another tiny light joined it bopping amongst the mist uncertainly. Hermione s curiosity grew , what on earth was some one doing out on a freezing night like this?   
  
" Draco it's freezing cant we go back to our room?" Crabbe asked his lips blue with the cold.  
"Don't blame me your the one who forgot your jacket" Draco scolded as they stumped across the grounds towards the bean stalk. Draco clutched the front of his very stylish black leather jacket to his chest and adjusted his thick agora wool green scarf trying to keep out the blistering cold. He glances over at Crabbe's shivering blubber and he rolled his eyes with exasperation.  
"Get over here you big oaf" Draco said taking his leather jacket off , underneath he was wearing his thick dark green hooded jumper. Crabbe put the jacket on thankfully , fortunately it was several sizes to big for Draco ( who had won it off a Gryffindor seventh year during his third year in a duel) and it fit Crabbe rather snugly. Draco slowly held his wand up his teeth chattering together in the sky he could see the faint line of a full moon and he couldn't help remember that professor Lupin who had returned two years previously was a were wolf. Mary sue stepped forwards out of the mist and coughed politely trying to get Draco's attention. She was posing in the way girls do when they want to be praised for there current appearance.  
" Very nice but completely impractical for a freezing cold winters night" Draco commented and Mary Sues eyes went wide with out rage.  
"Don't you know any thing you stupid mortal boy? this gown is made out of the finest form of silk in the known world" she said spinning around for dramatic emphasis. The dress was designed to be the end of all dresses , it clung in the right places and was made out of a material so fine it almost seemed to be rapped up moon light. The top Draco noted showed off allot of Mary sues ample white cleavage which was only emphasized by the heavy dew drop opal necklace she had fastened around her throat.  
"Fine it's pretty , it's very glittery and... oh" Draco said trying to think of a word.  
"Pretty!" Crabbe said helpfully and Mary Sue narrowed her eyes dangerously.  
"This dress is more then pretty , its fantastical its wonderful its the best thing you'll ever see in your lives and all you can say is that its pretty" Mary Sue snarled hitching up the shimmering skirts and stomping away.  
"Wait! its er very pretty!" Draco cried running after Mary Sue , he wasn't used to dealing with temperamental females.  
"Why are you wearing it any way?" Draco asked when he finally caught up to her and Mary Sue looked a bit sheepish.  
"Well there's this big upper class party in the fairy ring next week , I've never been to one of them before and ... I sort of wanted an opinion on my dress before I go" Mary Sue said and her face was robbed from its usual haughty self confidence.  
" Its a dress , what else can I say?" Draco asked impatiently and as he turned around Mary Sue frowned slightly feeling slightly hurt , it wasn't a feeling she was used to.  
  
Hermione had always prided herself on her no nonsense approach to life , she knew that she had been born with messy brown hair and buck teeth thus ruining her chances of ever having a scandalous love affair. At the age of 13 she told her self during one of her private dates in the library that it was time to give up all the silly romantic nonsense and resort to being calm practical and good in a crisis. Of course deep down in the private parts of Hermione's soul she longed for adventure. She longed to be swept up by a dark dashing individual preferably with a name like Darcy while she revealed allot of bosom in a low cut medieval corset..but not to much bosom after all Hermione was still respectable. Now Hermione found her self doing something she had never dared to do with out Harry or Ron , wander around the Hogwarts in the middle of the night. The lights she had seen on the misty field had filled her with a vague sense of curiosity and adventure that she usually only felt when Harry was around .Tweaking her camisole down slightly in case she ran into a dark and attractive man , after all you never knew...she set out into the night.  
  
" Well , from now on I know to never doubt Dawn again!" Draco cried as his neck made a rather ominous clicking sound. He peered up at the gigantic bean stalk which disappeared out of vision after several hundred miles.  
"Some one approaches...." Mary Sue said her ears twitching slightly , as soon as she spoke a mournful howl erupted across the grounds. Draco's eyes were slowly drawn to the starry night and as he watched the clouds disappeared revealing a very full rather bloated moon.  
"Cursed griffindors!..Snape wouldn't be so stupid!" he muttered with apprehension and once again a howl erupted breaking the silence.  
"Werewolf! quick every one put on some silver under wear!" Draco cried hysterically.  
  
Hermione paused slightly mid marched as her slipper encased foot almost stepped on something. She reached down and in the gloom saw the faintest glimmer of glass. Something was seeping off the glass , a faint pinkish vapour that smelt like rotten flowers and chocolate.   
"A love potion... but those are illegal in Hogwarts" Hermione began her brow wrinkled with confusion , and once again there was a howl.  
  
" Quick! Climb the bean stalk!" Mary Sue cried gesturing them towards the gigantic vegetable mutation,.  
"What are you insane? that things gigantic!" Draco cried .  
"What about a broom stick?" Crabbe suggested almost sounding helpful.  
"A broom stick? a broom stick!" Draco cried thankfully and pointed his wand vaguely at the direction of the Slytherin dormitory.  
"Accio Nimbus 2000!" Draco cried flipping aside his hair for dramatic affect.  
  
Hermione paused slightly as she reached Hogwarts main entrance. Was it her imagination , or had she just heard an almost snuffling scratching sound. Her heart pounding slightly in her chest Hermione bolted towards the doors and as quickly as possible snuck out. Instantly she realized her mistake as the gigantic heavy doors slammed shut behind her. Hermione ignoring the snuffling noises behind her ran as fast as she could towards the forbidden forest...although it seemed many miles away. The snuffling disappeared but to Hermione's terror was replaced with the pattering of running paws and a terrifying howl , she wanted adventure and look where it took her. Hermione crying fearfully slipped over the wet grass her hair tangling itself into knots behind her. Never look back , you don't want to know what's behind you a memory hissed in her mind as she remembered the last words Harry had muttered to her before she woke up alone and cold in a hospital bed. Unfortunately Hermione at that second skidded on the dripping wet grass and crashed into a painful heap on the wet muddy earth. Frantically she tried to sit up once again , but the snow which was now melting into freezing slushy piles made that impossible. Her eyes look up and she saw it , the wolf. Hermione instantly recognized it as a werewolf , it had all the classic markings she had learned in her first year. The wolf stood still , steam rising off its shiny gray coat and it seemed to glare at her... it wanted to chase her.  
"Professor Lupine! its me!" Hermione cried desperately slipping on the ground, The wolf continued to glare at her...and then in lunged.  
  
It was funny , Hermione had expected extreme pain , however all she could feel was the licking of a dogs tongue and the frantic jumping that half grown puppies always did when they reached puberty. With horror Hermione tried desperately to push the mangy thing off her , it all made sense. Professor Lupine was on heat! Snape must have mixed up the potions which accounted for the broken glass Hermione had found in the hall way. Hermione began to scream hysterically with horror remembering the time her aunts poodle had attacked the dining room table in a similar way. As she frantically tried to kick Professor Lupine away she suddenly felt a pair of thick arms grab her by her camisoles straps. Hermione to her extreme shock felt her self being lifted upwards and the thick arms transferred themselves to her waist hauling her up onto a broom stick.  
"Ello Hermione!" a voice cried cheerfully , it was Crabbe.  
  
"Crabbe?" Hermione asked extremely shocked as she secured her self onto the broom stick properly .  
"That's me!" Crabbe cried cheerfully and Hermione felt extremely faint.  
"What on earth are you doing up here?" she asked fearfully , and Draco pulled up along side her on another broom stick a sardonic expression on his face.  
"Saving your arse , that's what his doing" he smiled and Hermione glared at him her lip trembling slightly.  
"It was you out on the grass! don't you realize how dangerous it is wandering around when there's a werewolf on heat loose?" she scolded and Draco flew closer to her extending a hand.  
"Hop onto my broom stick , Crabbe's cant carry your weight as well as his" Draco said rationally and Hermione's lips pressed together with rage.  
"There is no way I'm sharing a broom stick with you Malfoy!" she snapped and Draco simply rolled his eyes.  
"Fine then plunge to your doom see if I care!" he said and Crabbe's broom stick creaked ominously. Hermione frowned slightly and then with a moment of stupid bravery reached forward grabbing onto Draco's hand. Instantly Hermione was torn of Crabbe's broomstick , and to her extreme terror she found herself clinging onto Draco's hand for dear life.  
"Calm down Granger , I'm not going to drop you!" Draco snapped and pulled Hermione towards his broom stick. Hermione grabbed onto it desperately and half slipping hauled herself up onto it.  
"I hate flying !" she snapped grabbing onto Draco's shoulders for support.  
"Well that's obviously , now Granger please tell me ..why are you out here in a flimsy night dress?" Draco asked and Hermione blushed slightly as Draco eyed the cleavage peeking out of her camisole.  
"I was curious I guess..." she admitted sheepishly and Draco snickered slightly.  
"Well wonders never cease , practical Granger actually has some spine in her after all" he grinned wolfishly in the moon light and Hermione looked at him suspiciously. Was it her imagination , or where his teeth slightly more pointy then usual?  
"Why are you here Malfoy?" she asked coldly.  
"To investigate that giant bean stalk" Draco commented.  
"Don't be ridicules! the species known as the common giant bean stalk has been instinct for over four hundred years.. giant slayers burnt all of them" Hermione tutted.  
"I'm not sure if what we have here happens to be a conventional bean stalk" Draco replied as they swooped in closer.  
  
In the rain splattering streets of diagon alley a single figure dressed in thick black robes raced across in the rain. It paused at one of the doors and hammered its hulking frame against the cheap woodwork. The door creaked open slowly.  
"The dark side of the moon is home to the shadows" the figure in the hood said.  
"Merrily towards the fire the manticore dances towards its doom" the other voice replied.  
"Look I think that's enough , frankly its pissing down here... so let me in" the hooded figure growled threatening. There were several thudding noises.  
"It appears that the doors stuck" the voice replied and the figure growled with rage . It slammed its hulking body against the wood work and it snapped open breaking on its hinges. There were ten figures in hoods , there faces clouded in mystic darkness.  
"EER! you just broke that door you great brute! the land ladies going to be spewing when she finds out what you've done " the smallest hooded figure scolded and the tallest one gave him , not a dirty look because his face was covered in black.. more of a filthy pause.  
"Not that moneys important" the smallest figure said carefully.  
"I brought it ... it took me a while to get it out of the idiots arms but here it is" the hooded figure answered and there leader nodded. The hulking figure walked slowly towards him and with great honor placed something in front of there leader. In the dim light , it was pale pink and scruffy .. a well worn and much loved teddy bear.  
"You have done well number eight , from now on you will be known as number seven and three quarters" the leader said his voice dripping with malignance.  
"Hey I thought I was brother seven and three quarters!" the former brother seven and three quarters suddenly declared. The leader rolled his eyes , they were all idiots of course.. not one of them knew a decent jinx amongst them. But the leader had been a death eater for a long time , and he knew that a truly good death eater had to be the most intelligent person in the room. Let the other little clichés have there murderers there cursers and there planners... he would have the idiots , they were determined and they would never ever betray him.  
" Brothers step forward into the circle of darkness! for today we will rule!" he cried and brother three coughed politely.  
"Rule? I don't know about that...I mean I'm just a door to door cauldron seller" he said.  
"Don't be an idiot , his going to teach us the ultimate secrets of the dark arts.. that he learnt from he who must not be named aren't cha?" Number three said excitingly.  
"Yes brother three , now inside this teddy are the secrets to the universe!" he cried dramatically.  
"Gosh" the assembled brothers cried.  
  
"So your looking for a teddy bear?" Hermione asked as Draco finished his story. Draco had of course blurred over significant details , such as him being prince charming .  
"Well basically yes , but according to Mary Sue ..this elf wench were also helping her look for a magical object of some sort" Draco answered as they flew closer to the bean stalk.  
"Have you ever thought , that they might be one and the same?" Hermione asked.  
"Ok that's just stupid , Granger you need to stop reading plot devices into every situation" Draco commented and Hermione bristled.  
"I would be much obliged if you drop me off at my window" she said curtly.  
" Unfortunately I cant do that Granger , we are heading for the top" Draco said pointing upwards. Hermione was about to scream in protest but paused when she thought about her evening plans. What did she have to look forward to? besides reading a novel and drinking hot chocolate? there was a certain point in Hermione's life when she knew that the right thing to do had to be the wrong thing... she had felt it in her fifth year when she had chased after Harry on the fateful night and she felt it now.  
"Malfoy , I'm going with you" she said firmly.  
  
A/N That's enough for now.. sorry about the long wait the next part should be longer. 


End file.
